ArtHoles

Frida Kahlo has become a name synonymous with strength and independence. She was born during a crucial time in Mexico’s history and touched the lives of everyone she met.  She also was ridiculously hilarious in the face of horrifying personal events that would crush the average person. Seriously, this is gonna get depressing.

To prepare for our series, we’re taking 8,000 years of Mexican history straight to the face. We start with a bunch of rain, then traverse through a confusing calendar system, a necklace of golden shrimps, a not-so-triste-noche, and “utter tragedy and misery.” Also, some art is sprinkled in.

Buckle up as we learn about a Spanish king who hates pajamas and exorcisms, the French getting really ornery over baked goods, and America being on-brand with pretty much everything it does. And, then… Revolución!!!

Series Main Sources:

Ankori, Gannit. Frida Kahlo. London, 2013.

Drucker, Malka. Frida Kahlo - Torment and Triumph in her Life and Art. U.S.. 1991.

Fehrenbach, T.R. Fire & Blood - A History of Mexico. New York, 1995.

Herrera, Hayden. Frida - A Biography of Frida Kahlo. New York, 1982.

Kahlo, Frida. The Diary of Frida Kahlo, New York 1995.

Kahlo, Frida. Letters to Mama - You Are Always With Me. Mexico City, 2018.

Meyer, Michael C. and Sherman, William. The Course of Mexican History (2nd Ed.). Oxford, 1983.

Zamora, Martha. Frida Kahlo - The Brush of Anguish. San Francisco, 1990.

The Don Pepe Incident, a story about Lucy we’d all like to forget, nerd-ceremonies, and a complicated reunion. Then, things get really, really fancy.  We’re finally wrapping up our story in the only way it’ll let us…weirdly.

Caravaggio breaks out of prison to reach the one person who will help him. He also makes more bad decisions, paints some stuff, hits the club, and pays the price.

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In a post-Nooch world, a comparatively short period in Caravaggio’s life is jam-packed with a comparatively large amount ludicrousness, so the finale is now a two-parter.

What do you do when you’re on the run for murder? You create some of the most important western art of all time, obvi. Plus, you keep acting like an asshole, because you literally never learn.

Caravaggio’s road to redemption is a joyful, nostalgic romp through Europe. It starts with a bribe, veers offtrack due to another Johnny Testicle incident, then gets back on track... until it’s interrupted by a church organist and a pirate gun. Because why wouldn’t it.  Also, there’s stuff about art.

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Greg Rotolanti, butter, Fillide, sex-wrinkles, a resolute and purposeful “Jenis,” The Nooch, a magic flying house, and tennis. I honestly don’t know what else to say. I for sure lost it on this one.

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Baglione, Mao, The Nooch... As adversaries emerge, lines are drawn, and words are exchanged. Really, really, ridiculous words with unimaginable fallout.

Caravaggio finds a brother figure in Onorio Longhi, even though his actual brother also lives in Rome. Onorio finds his merengue needs unfulfilled, but his hunger for violence satiated. And, Fillide finds out that some moms are checked out a bit early, while some co-workers check in behind your back.

Let your porny paintings become more violent, your devotional paintings become more public, and never, EVER let anybody disrespect your Cecco without a reckless attempt at retribution. After all, omnia vincit amore, right?

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The new Counter-Reformation mix tape dropped…ya heard? It’s a music-heavy episode, not all of which is appropriate for work. Maybe not everybody’s work, but, most people’s work. Cardinal Del Monte has quite a few guests at the house and people have thoughts. Also, Caravaggio creates some paintings inspired by music, a guy named Francis, and Mario Minitti’s sultry gaze. And, I lash out at more Popes.

 

Take a listen and learn about some terrible surgeries, a lazy investigation by the sbirri, and some memory problems. We also learn that it’s hard to say goodbye, especially when you know you have to. Because, violence.

 

Caravaggio finds a new home after maybe murdering somebody.  But who would take in such a person?  Turns out, lots of people. We’ll learn about Caravaggio’s artistic developments, including one painting that has a surprising connection to the show!  We’ll also learn that sometimes, having your monkey cared for is more important than rebuilding a city.

If you were a genre painting, what kind of genre painting would you be?  Would you have bursting figs and succulent cherries?  Would you be a red-wine-drunk sex god? Or would you just steal stuff? 

Just let your Soul Glo, meet a few Cardinal-Nephews, keep your lizard where it belongs, and, of course, watch out for horses.

How many Caterinas is a sufficient number of Caterinas? What’s the appropriate length of a baby Jesus arm?  Is John of Austria the worst? Does a REAL Catholic uncontrollably vomit?

These are the questions we’ll tackle together in order to dig into the beginning of Michaelangelo Merisi’s life and career!  That, and, I butcher Italian names, recklessly valuate the scudo, and justify the imprisonment of homeless people on a moated island (sorta). Manner-isn’t…amirite…?

One of the greatest and most enigmatic painters, born into an insane time. He was also a complete nightmare. This is the story of a man whose poor behavior was matched only by his ability to capture the human condition. It's also a story of extreme violence, tennis(?), two weird poems, and ridiculous amounts of enabling and privilege.

But, first, our story begins away in a manger... It then quickly flies off the rails when some Roman Emperors make bad decisions, a bunch of popes have rough days, and the fallout after the church’s needs outpace its wallet.

 

I feel like the title of this episode really bottom-lines what’s happening here.  Clement Greenberg takes a stand at Jackson’s funeral, Lee doesn’t stand near anyone, and I can’t stand math. 

We finally get to talk about what Jackson Pollock’s drip paintings are. And for that, we need the assistance of nerds. So let's watch some ocean waves crash, talk about D ratio with Benoit Mandelbrot, and try to measure a coastline before our brains melt. 

A full series is now officially in the books.  I hope everyone had a blast and learned tons of useless information!

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